Friday, July 14, 2006

News of the Day

Just a brief wrapup on all that's notable, and quite a bit that's really not.

  • Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert went into the hospital yesterday. Early reports were that he was suffering from a skin infection, but we're now hearing sketchy reports that he is, in fact getting a man-boob augmentation in the hopes of putting to rest the rumor that he and Former First Lady Barbara Bush are in fact the same person (Have you ever seen them together?).
  • A new article soon to appear in GQ alleges that Ralph Reed and Jack Abramoff hatched a scheme in they would ask black churches to, in lieu of lobbying fees, take out life insurance policies naming them as beneficiaries if the church elders died. Reportedly, they were quite disappointed by the absence of the promised forty acres and a mule. Early readers have been surprised not by the depth of the depravity, but for the surprising depth of an article in GQ sandwiched in between fashion advice and an interview with a swimsuit model.
  • A scant two months after voting to build a fence along the Mexican border, the Senate killed Senator Jeff Sessions' (R-AL) plan to actually fund the fence in a 71-29 vote. Several Senators said off the record "It costs too much. I know some Mexican guys that will do it cheaper."
  • Almost a year after the devastation of Hurrican Katrina, residents of New Orleans are still waiting on the new roads, schools, and electrical grids to be built. After watching Fox News for a few minutes and hearing them talk about how swell rebuilding Iraq is going, Mayor Ray Nagin is reportedly trying to start a rumor that he has weapons of mass destruction.

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