Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Fucktard Alert!!!

Yes, I'm aware that I pretty much abandoned use of that word so that the guys at Flypaper Theory could continue with their mastery of it. But no word seems to match this level of stupidity, except maybe "Jakiness".

A group of heavily armed whackos in Texas called The House of Yahweh have pooled their collective biblical knowledge and arrived at the conclusion that the world is breaking into nuclear war TODAY. They're granting interview requests for AFTER the 12th, so they apparently believe they'll survive.

I found their website, and there it is on their homepage---

Today's Religious World Does Not Know The Prophecies Of Yahweh: Nuclear war will start September 12, 2006, but that is not the end.
You need to put this date on your bathroom mirror. You also need to make preparations for the dark days ahead, which will affect every person on earth. However, there is a way of escape. There is a place of safety but like their unbelief in the Sabbath, the world will not believe this message, neither will they repent of their sins of murder, fornication, or theft. You need to start training now in the ways of Yahweh.
A friend of mine tried to call their 800number to rib them about it and got voicemail. I tried their toll numbers, (325) 893-5899 0r 672-5420(Give them a call--- You know you want to!) and got a live person on the other end.
HOY: House of Yahweh, may I help you?
ME: Yes, I read about your nuclear war on the internet, and if I read it on the internet, it must be true, right? So tell me... Should I bother recording "House" tonight?
HOY: Excuse me?
ME: Well, it's an important episode, and I'd hate to miss it. Should I watch it when it's actually on, or am I relatively safe recording it? What time does the war start? Are you on Central time?
HOY: Please hold for a moment.
Had they left me waiting very long, I was probably going to hang up. But within a few seconds, another woman was on the phone.
HOY: May I help you?
ME: Yes, I'm trying to get more information on this nuclear war. Does this mean I shouldn't bother setting my timer to record "House"?
HOY: What?
ME: "House". You know, TV show about a grumpy doctor. I really hate missing it, and I was just trying to find out if the world is going to end after or before it.
HOY: Have a good day.
ME: How can I? I might get nuked before my favorite show!


Wait 'til you hear my phone call to them tomorrow when the war doesn't happen.
Anyway, here's a YouTube clip of some of their stupidity.

Pesky, you may have chosen "Fucktard of the Week" too soon.



9 comments:

David Holt said...

Excellant choice for Fucktard, but I beat you to it this week. Deal with it! :-)

bob said...

Still here and OK at 8pm. Anybody else with me? Okay, gotta get back to praying...

bob said...

Still here. The prayers evidently worked.

Freedonian said...

YAY! We survived! And to think, they sounded SO reliable...

David Holt said...

Damnit, Rick! And I told my wife my mother-in-law could move in next month! You said we were going to die!!!

David Holt said...

Oh, and I showed "Beth" your site. She said, "So is he like really sarcastic?" I said, "Rick? Sarcastic? Nah... He's as unsarcastic as our president is smart. And you have to be pretty dang brilliant to be president."

David Holt said...

As unsaracstic as our president is smart I mean.

Freedonian said...

Damnit, Rick! And I told my wife my mother-in-law could move in next month! You said we were going to die!!!

So... You're pretty much doomed anyway.

See? I was right.

And... Sarcastic? Moi?

If she had to ask, that means I have to work harder.

nut-meg said...

I love how he's got like, four books on his shelf.

And I swear, I think that's a phone book he's flipping through.