Wednesday, October 04, 2006

La Cage Aux Foley

The Republican Party going through the obligatory crisis-handling steps on the Foley scandal. Get the guy into rehab whether he has a substance abuse problem or not. Check. Blame the victim. Check.

If they're successful, they can have his image rehabbed in time for prom season.

One thing they will not be able to do, however, is dodge the issue of when the presumably sober Dennis Hastert and Tom Reynolds knew, and why they did nothing to stop this.

With Reynolds, the answer might well be apparent. Increasingly, it appears that Mark Foley might have given him 100,000 reasons not to speak up. Michael Jackson has to be reading these news reports, thinking "Why did we not think of that?" Student-banging schoolteachers across the country are reaching for their checkbooks. They should form a PAC.

The really funny thing is watching the right wing media scramble. Sean Hannity has found a way to blame this on "Clenis" (Unfortunately for him, his case hinged on not being called out for lying about Monica's age).

And Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council has decided that it is strictly a gay issue, and that tolerance has led us to this scandal.

Yes, there you have it. Only gays target underage children for sex. In this bold rewrite of history, Jerry Lee Lewis's 13-year-old bride has been changed from a female cousin to a male cousin. All the 30-year-old rednecks you saw driving around the fifteen-year-old girls at school were really just hoping to be good friends.

Of course. Blame gays. You knew that train was coming. It may have gotten here a few minutes early, or a few minutes late, but it always gets there.

In the rush by conservatives to blame gays, they have to ask themselves: Is Dennis Hastert gay too? For him not to have raised any objection to this, you would have to assume he thinks it's okay.

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