Friday, January 19, 2007

Dennis Miller--- Crackhead.

I tuned in to Hannity & Colmes tonight to watch Congressman Steve Cohen being interviewed (Well, that's kind of a loose description--- I watched him get shouted over by the always beligerent Sean Hannity more than anything else) and saw the most over the top, "I'm embarrassed for you" rant by Dennis Miller that I've ever seen. With this commentary, he reached a previously unimaginable low--- It was so incoherent that he made Stone Temple Pilots lyrics sound Dickensian by comparison.

His subject matter: The attack on the Yale singing group in San Francisco. The story, for those that are unfamiliar with it, is simple enough to understand--- A Yale singing group was performing at a San Francisco New Year's Eve party when a group of people started shouting homophobic slurs at them, then beat them up after they launched into "The Star-Spangled Banner".

Yet somehow, on Fox News, "multiculturalism" and "diversity" are to blame--- When in reality, the attackers sound more like Fox News fans than people obsessed with diversity.

Here he is in all his glory, thanks to the miracle of DVR.

And yes, he is this stupid and incoherent--- I couldn't make this up.

Did you hear the one about the Yale singing group that got stomped lie a fat guy at Altamont for singing the National Anthem at a New Year’s Eve party in San Francisco?

The National Anthem. Folks, it’s official--- The aggrieved minority now is now [sic] the majority.

Now granted, there are times when I’ve just heard John Mellencamp’s “This Is Our Country” for the eight hundred fifty seventh time in forty minutes, and I contemplate living abroad, but short of that, what is wrong with a little patriotism?

Every freakshow life choice in the world is now celebrated in San Fran, except what they deem to be “square”. You know, a guy taking a whiz in the middle of Union Square is celebrated as a Uremic Stream Corrosion Artist, but woe unto you if you crank up “The Star Spangled Banner”.

So this is what comes of San Francisco’s migraine-inducing fixation with diversity, multiculturalism, and moral relativism? Hatred for a Glee Club?

You know, the liberal ideal is folded back in on itself like a Tarentino script and is now beginning to feed on the host organism. Nineteen losers jammed into a Scooby Doo van, just cruising around, looking to beat up some singers. HEY YOU IDIOTS! Even Ken Kesey eventually got himself a nice midsize.

And how did nineteen attackers show up so quickly? One phone call. To the San Francisco City Council. No doubt if someone had cranked up the Iranian national anthem, there would have been that quivering, tilted head, slightly nodding, misty-eyed moment of unspoken reverence for “the other”.

Well mark me down for the home team and OUR school song. You know, after these kids heal up, Pashmina Pelosi should open a session of the House by having them sing the national anthem. She should, but she won’t because she’d have to hide behind the podium like Elvira when Kolchak flashed a crucifix at her.

Oh, and by the way, how many hours a day does Pelosi and her scarf wrangler [sic] spend adjusting and readjusting for a perfect drape on her juji-fruit-colored neck gear?

You know, maybe in the future, all glee clubs entering the Bay Area should first make a physique adjustment stop at the epicenter of muscle enhancement, Barry Bonds’ house for a few nibbles off whatever multigrain wafer he used to go from lanky newcomer to Bib, the Michelin Man overnight.

Back to you, Hans and Frans.

4 comments:

Dabney said...

ok ... I am confused. Some assholes in a van shouted derrogatory and homophobic remarks and Dennis Miller has decided that they were beat up because they sang the Star Spangled Banner? I used to think Dennis Miller was funny, but he seems to have gone insane.

LeftWingCracker said...

the only place he can go is Faux News, because they're the only ones sad and sick enough to think he's funny.

he makes Jon Lovitz look like jack benny by comparison.

The Christian Progressive Liberal said...

When you hear Dennis Miller rant like this, one remembers with sadness that actually likeable show he used to do on HBO.

Then one remembers the exact date he decided to cross over to the dark side and SELLOUT.

He doesn't realize his shelf life has expired and will not be in vogue anymore.

Oh, and message to Congressman Cohen - stay the hell off anything on Faux News Network; starting with Vannity and Colmes

PeskyFly said...

Wow. Now I've got a fair degree of cultural literacy. I know all about Ken Kesey, and The Nightstalker. But does anybody under the age of 35 know what the fuck Miller is talking about? I'm all for not dumbing down, but Dannis really needs to bring his metaphors into the 21st century.

Yeah, it's always been his schtick, but screw the accuracy, the guy is out of hand on so many other levels I don't know where to start.