Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Because Every Sperm Is Sacred, Rep. Campfield.

Sometimes, you just read something that leaves you laughing uncontrollably.

The Bush Administration's rationalization of... Well, anything.

The phrase "Poo Poo Platter" on a Chinese restaurant menu.

Or, for me, it was the post "Compare and Contrast" by the lovely Brittney over at "Nashville Is Talking".

It seems that State Representative Stacy Campfield's bill to require a death certificate to be issued every time there's an abortion has actually shown not only the state how foolish he can be--- But even the national blogosphere has picked it up.

I want to like your bill requiring that death certificates be issued for aborted embryo-Americans, but I don't see the logic behind it. Why limit it to the aborted? Don't miscarried embryo-Americans and blastocyst-Americans deserve death certificates too. And what about those little snowflake-Americans? Shouldn't the little frozen bastards get death certificates when someone drops their petri dishes? - Jesus General
Personally, I think Campfield's bill demonstrates not just a fanatical devotion to one issue--- But it also demonstrates a lamentable lack of ambition.

I mean, why stop there? Why not issue one for every spermatazoa spilled in a way that's not conducive to insemination?

We could require last rites to be administered every time a thirteen-year-old spanks the monkey. The crime scene tape industry would benefit big time-- They could develop and market crime scene tape small enough to wrap around condoms and Kleenexes.

But hey, don't think all the legal burden is on men too. What about women that allow unfertilized eggs to die every month? Yes, part of the new monthly ritual can be calling the coroner out to process the paperwork.

Okay, everyone sing the new state song with me!

Every sperm is sacred...
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

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