Tuesday, February 06, 2007

He's Been HEALED! Hallelujah!

Reverend Tim Ralph, one of the four evangelical ministers that has been supervising the intense counseling of the defrocked Reverend Ted Haggard, has pronounced him "completely heterosexual".

Apparently, Jesus is okay with banging a male prostitute, just as long as there's meth involved. And having sex with male prostitutes doesn't mean you're gay, right?

It's not like Haggard helped the guy get a White House press pass or something, right?

Haggard and his beard wife Gayle are planning to move to another state and pursue psychology degrees. I suggest a few courses in human sexuality. Or at least a refresher course in Shakespeare so he can finally figure out what the Bard was getting at when he wrote "The lady doth protest too much, methinks."

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LeftWingCracker said...

That's hilarious, but shouldn't the head be facing...

never mind!

The Christian Progressive Liberal said...

OOOH, LWC, that's just plain nasty. LOL

I still want to know how a homosexual can be cured in 4 weeks. There's a few homosexuals who want to be straight but can't fight what Nature gave them.

We'll know if the cure "took" when Haggard gets busted with male hookers again, six months from now...

PeskyFly said...

I think a Z-pack can knock it out in a week.

But you have to put the pills up your... ahem.

Freedonian said...

Brother Cracker,
I wanted to do something along those lines, but couldn't find the right pictures of Gannon and Haggard.

Now that Gannon sees himself as a conservative activist, maybe Haggard will get lucky and they'll end up speaking at the same event.

Those Z-packs are miracle cures, are they not?