Thursday, February 22, 2007

Terry Frank Document Watch, Day 1

Terry Frank at rightwing blog Frankly Speaking claims to have unearthed documents that will turn the world upside down--- She claims to have evidence of one million pounds of uranium were in the possession of one Saddam Hussein of Iraq.

Of course, for her claims to have even a passing resemblance to reality, you have to believe a few things which are, at best, leaps of logic that not even Evel Kenievel in his prime would have dared approach:

  1. The White House enjoys being a laughingstock so much that it wouldn't even bother making an announcement that could help it shed its reputation as an outfit so incompetent that it couldn't find nipples in a titty bar.
  2. The smartest place to store sensitive documents related to weapons of mass destruction held by a foreign power is the Oak Ridge National Laboratory, a government facility with a largely civilian workforce and 3000 guest researchers that stay for two weeks or more per year.
  3. The first call when it comes time to disclose the discovery of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, one of the thorniest issues to ever face this White House or any other is not one of the friendly media outets such as Fox News or the Washington Moonie Times. Nor is it the New York Times, home of Judith "I ask no questions" Miller, who actually spent time in jail covering up secrets for this White House. It's not even to male prostitute Jeff Gannon, who had wider access to the White House than most of the senior staff (Not to mention a three hour jump on the beginning of "Shock and Awe"). It goes to Terry Frank, a blogger from East Tennessee.
  4. Terry Frank is in possession of these documents, but can't find anyone with a scanner willing to help exonerate the White House.
  5. The White House was so concerned with keeping the secrets of Saddam Hussein (Despite being unable to keep video of his hanging or pictures of him in his tighty whities off of the internet) that even now, they can't talk about a massive nuclear stockpile that would boost Bush's approvals by at least 20 points.

Of course, we'll never actually get the answers to any of these questions, will we? Nor will we ever see a verifiable scan of said document--- And by "verifiable", I mean one that will get the White House to say "Yes, it's true".

So today is Day One of what will be a very long wait. There will be, at a bare minimum, one post a day on this site goofing on Terry Frank until she either posts verifiable documents or gets over her delusions of grandeur.

And to show you just how credible this report is--- Stacey Campfield, winner of yesterday's Golden Bushie (I think I gave it out a day too soon) thinks it's true (Via Pesky Fly).

No comments: