This Week's Golden Campy - The Nevada Democratic Party

Let us speak plainly here--- Fox News isn't quite as "fair and balanced" as Tara Reid's badly botched boob job. The only way for a Democrat to appear on that channel and not be piled onto by the air staff is to insult his fellow Democrats (We call that "Harolding" around these parts. Such people can also be called "Liebertarians").

So the idea that the Nevada Democratic Party would even consider allowing Fox News to sponsor their debate is about as wise as holding a Narcotics Anonymous meeting in a crack house.

Of course, like a good massage, this story has a happy ending.

John Edwards was the first out of the debate, and it was the smart thing to do. Fox News will spend enough time trying to stick a foot in the ass of every Democratic presidential candidate--- Edwards simply chose not to bend over and make it easy for them.

But only one thing could match the Nevada Democratic Party's sheer insanity when it came to booking this debate--- The reason they officially stated as their reason for severing the ties with Fox News:

Roger Ailes, at a broadcasting dinner, told a joke that bombed so excruciatingly that frankly, he sounded like he belongs on Fox News' "Half Hour Comedy Hour". He said that when President Bush was advised "Obama is on the move", President Bush replied "Why can't we catch him?"

There are two things about that joke that make it noteworthy: 1) The joke was at the expense of President George "Duhbya" Bush, not Barack Obama. 2) He stole the joke in the first place.

The episode of Saturday Night Live hosted by Justin Timberlake (Most notable for being the episode that featured the brilliant "Dick In A Box" Digital Short featured the joke during "Weekend Update". In fact, nearly the only difference was that when SNL ran the joke, it was, you know, funny.

So, for piling questionable judgment on top of questionable judgment, I hereby give the coveted Golden Campfield Award to the Nevada Democratic Party.

The Winner for Golden Campy for the Week of 3/7/07 IS...

Don Davis from Don's Guns in Indianapolis, Indiana.

This is actually a first--- I've never before had video of the Campfield Award winner, even when it was in its previous incarnation as the Golden Bushie Award.

See, there's irresponsible, and there's irresponsible. It's not enough that Don's shop made the top five when the Department of Justice compiled a list of the top dealers for guns used in crimes. That alone would have been bad enough.

But Don's has a rental department. As long as you have, according to their website, a drivers license proving you're eighteen or above and a $10 bill, you can rent a wide assortment of guns, including Uzis, several AK models, and a 50 caliber gun strong enough to bring down a plane.

Let me state for the record that I vehemently disagree with most conservatives' interpretation of the Second Amendment. They tend to overlook the whole "well regulated militia" clause cleverly hidden at the beginning of the amendment, which already leaves me sorely tempted to walk up to every lardass at a gun show and shout "Drop and give me twenty, you maggot!" Of course, I would probably be shot on sight, so there's a downside.

See, when it comes to illegal surveillance, they believe we should take into account that the Founding Fathers couldn't have anticipated the modern electronic communications we have now. They don't really believe in taking that into account when it comes to a Street Sweeper, though.

But even as much as I think the world would be better off without them, I'm not interested in regulating the kinds of guns that someone could actually conceivably protect their home or their person with. If you need a Street Sweeper to protect your home, then my best advice to you is to grab your kids and get the fuck out of Fallujah.

But it's time for reasonable and sane Republicans out there to join the rest of us in trying to keep the most dangerous killing machines out of the hands of the most dangerous people in America. You can't claim you love your country when you subject its citizens to constant danger.

So we're left with the age old question... What is the price of a human life?

About ten bucks, I guess.

The Golden Campy Award Goes To...

... who else?

The namesake of this award, Stacey Campfield (Who earned such an honor by outdumbing The Decider) is the best person to break this award in.

Not for his spirited defense of Terry Frank, although it certainly is deserving. Nor is it for his wish to give a death certificate to every aborted fetus.

No, he wins it for the Wife Beater Protection Act. In Campy's Perfect World, if someone files for an order of protection and the order is denied, the person who filed the petition should be responsible for the legal bills of the person they filed against.

This could be devastating to women of limited resources whose abusive husbands have the means to hire good attorneys.

Campfield is pushing for that as part of a legislative agenda that reduces the court system to a gambling parlor. To file anything in court, you would need to be prepared to pay the other party's legal fees if you lose--- Something that would kill any litigation against a corporation for product liability, harassment, or workplace injury unless the case was so tight that there was no way to lose--- And when a David files against a corporate Goliath, there's always a way to lose.

Update:

(Hat tip to R. Neal at Knox Views. I got "Wife Beater Protection Act" from the lady that emailed me a link to the bill last night. Turns out she got it here. )